


Matchmaker, Matchmaker

by TamscendingGender



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fjord is a Dad Friend, Fluff, Jester And Kiri Are Terrible, M/M, Matchmaking, Supportive Mom Nott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 13:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamscendingGender/pseuds/TamscendingGender
Summary: One night, Jester realizes that Kiri has heard far more than certain people would want her to have heard and decides to use this for her own devices...Basically: Jester and Kiri work together to make Molly and Caleb realize their mutual feelings for each other.





	Matchmaker, Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> Hallo hallo welcome to my silly little oneshot. It's the first not-angsty Widomauk I've written. Guess I'm branching out! The songs that Jester and Kiri sing, as well as the conversation between Fjord and Kiri, were written by my dear and wonderful friend and absorbed into the fanfic as a whole by yours truly. Enjoy!

Jester came up with the greatest idea of her life one evening as the Nein sat around the campfire eating dinner. Kiri was sitting next to her, eating bread and cooing to herself. 

“Kiri, I’m so happy we found you.” Jester said to the little bird girl. “You’re soooo cute and clever.”

“I’m so happy.” Kiri repeated. “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!” Jester giggled, and Kiri copied her. 

“I hope you can stay with us forever.” she said. 

“We should find her a home eventually.” Molly called from across the fire. “We can’t take a bird child around with us.” Kiri stuck her tongue out at Molly.

“Stay with us forever.” she declared, cocked her head, then said, in Caleb’s voice. “I don’t know if he feels the same way.” Jester stared at Kiri, then at the bright red Caleb, then back at Kiri. A grin crept across her face.

“Kiri, have you been listening to conversations you shouldn’t be listening to?” she asked.

“Shouldn’t be listening to?” Kiri repeated, turning her head to the other side. “This is secret, Kiri, don’t tell anyone!” she added in Nott’s voice. Jester cackled and clapped her hands.

“Kiri, I love you.” she said. “Come with me. I have a  _ plan _ .” 

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Fjord commented. Jester grinned evilly at him and took one of Kiri’s hands. They walked away from the fire and into the copse of trees next to their campsite.

“Now, Kiri, you listen to lots of things.” Jester said, sitting down on a tree root. Kiri perched across from her, clicking. “You must hear what  _ certain people _ say about each other.”

“I’m tired of your pining, man, just fucking talk to him.” Kiri said in Beau’s voice. “It’s not like it’s  _ hard. _ ”

“Beau is a hypocrite.” Jester observed. “She can’t even  _ look _ at Yasha.”

“ _ Look _ at Yasha.” Kiri repeated, nodding wisely. “Hypocrite.” 

“So you must know what  _ certain people _ think about the other  _ certain person _ .” Jester continued. “And how they’re being  _ very very  _ stupid.”

“ _ Ja.” _ Kiri said in Caleb’s voice. “ _ Very very  _ stupid.” Jester giggled. 

“You are going to help me stop them from being  _ very very  _ stupid and get them to kiss or  _ hur hur hur _ or something.” she told Kiri. 

“ _ Hur hur hur. _ ” Kiri said, and chirped excitedly. “What’s the plan?” she asked in Beau’s voice. Jester grinned and leaned in very close. 

 

\------

 

There had been no fallout from Kiri and Jester’s secret meeting in the woods all morning, and Caleb was getting very worried. He was certain that it was related to the chaotic looks she kept giving him over her shoulder. Kiri sat on the front of the cart next to Fjord, chirping and parroting snatches of songs she had heard on the road. Caleb distracted himself from his anxiety by reading. It was effective, and he almost didn’t notice Kiri marching up to him and plopping herself down in front of him. 

“Caleb…” she said in Jester’s voice, turning her head. “He’s so  _ handsome _ .” she added in Molly’s voice.

“Um... _ hallo _ , Kiri.” Caleb said, looking up from his book. “What did you say?”

“He’s so  _ handsome _ .” Kiri repeated. “ _ Hallo _ . I think I might be in love.” she said in Molly’s voice.

“Stop...stop repeating things Molly has said when he is not here to defend himself.” Caleb said, looking anywhere but at the eager bird child sitting in front of him. Molly was riding up ahead with Yasha.

“Things Molly has said.” Kiri echoed. “So  _ handsome. _ Caleb. I think I might be in love.” 

“Jester has put you up to this.” Caleb said to his book. “You are taking everything out of context. This is an awful prank you are pulling, Jester.” he added, turning to glare at the tiefling, who was sitting nonchalantly braiding Nott’s hair. She smiled innocently at him.

“I have done nothing.” she said. 

“Done nothing.” Kiri asserted, puffing out her feathers. “Things Molly has said.” She flounced over to sit with Jester and giggled. 

“These people are crazy.” Caleb told his book. “Absolutely insane.” He knew Jester was watching him and seeing that his face had gone completely red. So  _ this  _ was her plan. 

 

\------

 

They stopped in a town with one cramped little inn. They took the only three rooms available and made up half of the people in the bar. Molly was going to have a nice conversation with Yasha and Fjord when Kiri shoved her way onto the bench in between him and Yasha.

“Mollymauk Tealeaf.” she announced in his voice. “ _ Hallo _ .” 

“Um...hello, Kiri.” Molly said. He had done his best to avoid the little bird. She would die eventually if she stayed with them. It was best to not get attached to her. “What do you need? Is Jester putting you up to something?”

“Up to something.” Kiri said, fluffing her feathers out and straightening up with pride. “I’m tired of your pining, man, just fucking talk to him.”

“When did Beau say that? Since when does she give emotional advice?” Molly asked, frowning at Kiri. 

“Cay- _ leb _ .” Kiri sighed in Jester’s voice. “He is so in love but he won’t admit it. It’s so sad.” 

“Jester!” Molly yelled down the table. “Call off your minion.” 

“I think I might be in love.” Kiri said quickly. Molly stared at her.

“You really listen to everything.” he said, raising an eyebrow. That had been a snatch of a conversation he had had with Yasha while on watch. Everyone else had been asleep...he’d thought. He’s assumed he had enough privacy to talk about  _ that. _ “Maybe I am, but he’s not. I don’t think he is, anyway. And I know about these things.” Kiri chirped. “Do you have more snatches hidden away in that little brain of yours?” Molly asked.

“This is an awful prank you are pulling, Jester.” Kiri said in Caleb’s voice. Molly put his head in his hands and sighed.

“Did you...you didn’t repeat those things to Caleb, did you?” he said. Kiri moved her head back and forth a few times. 

“Caleb.” she repeated. “He’s so  _ handsome _ . Just fucking talk to him.” 

“I hate that you’re right.” Molly said to the table. “I guess you are older than me, if we go by years.”

“If we go by years.” Kiri agreed, and marched away to sit with Jester, who was convulsing with giggles. 

 

\------

 

It was precisely 11:44 pm when Caleb heard a knock at his and Nott’s inn room door. He groaned and rolled out of the bed to go open the door. Jester and Kiri were standing there, looking incredibly pleased with themselves.

“Oh,  _ no _ , please, it is too late for this. It is 11:44.” Caleb protested, trying to close the door, but Jester shoved her foot against it. She was too strong for him, and he sagged against the door to hear what they had to say. Jester cleared her throat, and Kiri copied her. They both straightened out, folded their hands in front of them, and began to sing:

“Oh Caleb,”

“Oh Caleb,”

“Have we made a match for you. 

He’s graceful,”

“He’s bright,”

“He’s  _ really sexy _ too. 

And he’s,”

“A good bird,”

“A pea _ cock _ ,” and here Jester winked dramatically. 

“Oh Caleb have you guessed yet?”

“Mollymauk!”

They finished in unison, striking a dramatic pose and grinning at him. Nott applauded from the bed.

“Thank you, thank you.” Jester said, bowing. Kiri mirrored her, and they both marched off down the hall, giggling. Caleb closed the door and turned to Nott.

“They were very good.” she said, shrugging at him. “Kiri is so cute.”

“Don’t encourage them.” Caleb sighed, returning to the bed and curling up with his face to the wall.

“You know, Caleb, they’re right.” Nott said. “You shouldn’t stop avoiding talking to Molly about...about this. What if he really does like you back?”

“He doesn't.” Caleb said to the wall. “Now, I would like to sleep.” Nott sighed and curled up next to him. 

 

\------

 

Molly was settled into bed and about to go to sleep when there was a knock at their door. He groaned and put the pillow over his head. The other bed creaked slightly as Fjord got up and opened the door.

“Um..hi, Kiri.” he said. “What do you need? What’s wrong?” Molly pressed the pillow closer over his ears. 

“Okay, go tell him.” Jester’s voice said, a touch of laughter to it. Fjord sighed.

“Tell me what?” he asked.

“Yes, that is a wonderful song. He’ll love it.” Molly heard his own voice say, and he sat up, grinning. He had heard Jester teaching it to Kiri earlier that day.

“Kiri, it’s the middle of the night.” Fjord groaned.

“It is 11:44.” Kiri announced in Caleb’s voice. 

“Whatever.” Fjord grumbled. “Just, can it wait until morning?” Kiri chirped, bouncing on her feet.

“No, c’mon, man!” she complained in Beau’s voice.

“That is unsettling.” Fjord declared. “Alright, shoot.” Kiri cleared her throat, fluffed her feathers, and began.

“Ahoy, Captain Tusktooth;

I’ve come with a match for you.

She’s charming and strong,

And a rather lovely blue.

And she thinks you’re very handsome,

And wants to dance,

It’s your very favorite tiefling,

Miss Fancypants!”

Kiri bowed, looking very pleased with herself, and Molly clapped enthusiastically.

“Bravo! Bravo! Encore!” he cheered. Fjord glared at him. 

“Thank you, Kiri.” he said. “Now, good night. It’s past your bedtime.” Kiri shoved her way into the room. 

“Wait!” she shouted in Nott’s voice, and then in Jester’s voice. “I have something for you.” 

“Oh, no.” Molly said. 

“Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Kiri declared, then in Jester’s voice said. “Caleb Widogast is madly in love with you. Just fucking talk to him.” She disappeared into the night to the accompaniment of giggles. Fjord closed the door and turned to Molly.

“I know, I know, she’s right and I should talk to Caleb because I won’t ever know if he likes me back if I keep avoiding it.” Molly said before Fjord had even opened his mouth.

“I  _ was _ going to say that Jester is a terrible force of chaos and I don’t know if we can ever contain her.” Fjord said. “But yeah. You’re right. Kiri’s right. Jester’s right, even. Talk to him tomorrow.” Molly flopped back onto the mattress and stared up at the ceiling, trying to plan out what he was going to do. 

 

\------

 

Kiri settled herself down in between Caleb and Nott in the cart the next day, chirping innocently. Caleb eyed her suspiciously, but she didn’t say anything, just made bird noises and sat in Nott’s lap. Molly was driving the cart, and he and Yasha were talking in sign language. Caleb watched Molly carefully signing out something while still keeping his other hand on the reins. The sun shone down and made his jewelry glint. He wasn’t wearing his coat and the outline of his back tattoos showed faintly through his shirt. Caleb traced the lines of the ink with his eyes, marveling at the way the ink stood out against Molly’s lavender back.

“He’s so  _ handsome _ .” Kiri whispered in his ear in Molly’s voice, and Caleb jumped in shock. 

“ _ Kiri _ .” he grumbled. 

“ _ Kiri. _ ” Kiri repeated, smiling proudly. “Have you told him yet?” she asked in Jester’s voice.

“ _ Nein _ ,” Caleb sighed. “Kiri, this is not something you know about, you are four, you haven’t…”

“Now, Kiri, this is a wonderful book about love and romance.” Kiri said in Jester’s voice, fluffing her feathers indignantly.

“Did she...she didn’t...did she read  _ Tusk Love _ to you?” Caleb asked.

“ _ Tusk Love _ .” Kiri repeated. 

“She took the sex out. Supposedly.” Nott said. 

“Supposedly.” Kiri said. “I’m tired of your pining, man, just fucking talk to him.” Caleb sighed and stared at Molly outlined in the soft light filtering down through the clouds. Yasha signed something and Molly burst into laughter. Caleb felt something warm filling his chest, and he thought about Kiri’s echoed phrases. “ _ Things Molly has said. So  _ handsome _. I think I might be in love. _ ” Molly’s voice. Could someone really love him? Molly didn’t even know half of the things he had done, Molly couldn’t fathom…

“You deserve nice things.” Kiri announced in Nott’s voice.

“She’s right.” Nott said. Caleb stared at them, then back at Molly. His gaze slid away from Molly and to Jester, who was riding on a horse ahead of them. She was turned around and staring at him, grinning. Jester was ridiculous, but she was very good at knowing things about people. He sighed. 

“Kiri, stop harassing Caleb.” Molly called over his shoulder, turning to look at them. Their eyes met, and Molly smiled at Caleb. It was a soft smile, and Caleb felt his heart melting down into his toes. 

“I’m tired of your pining, man.” Kiri whispered into his ear. 

 

\------

 

Kiri and Jester sat swinging their legs on the cart and sharing one of Jester’s fresher pastries. They were taking a break in a open field full of flowers. Nott and Yasha were picking flowers side by side, and Fjord and Beau were sitting in the grass talking about something. Molly and Caleb had wandered far into the flowers and were standing talking. 

“See, Kiri?” Jester said through a mouthful of lightly stale bear claw. “If you believe hard enough, you can influence whatever you want. We just had to give them a little push.”

“Little push.” Kiri echoed, nodding. Jetser passed her a chunk of pastry, and they resumed watching their friends. Nott returned to the cart and clambered up to sit next to Jester. 

“What are they doing, do you think?” she asked. “They’ve just been standing there talking for  _ minutes. _ ”

“Oh, they’re getting there.” Jester said confidently. “Look, Molly is holding Caleb’s hands now.” The three turned to study the pair in the flowers. Caleb was staring at the grass, shaking his head and saying something, and as they watched, Molly took Caleb’s chin into his hand and raised his head up. Jester leaned forward, squashing the bear claw in her excitement, then threw it off of the cart and across the field as Molly leaned in to kiss Caleb.

“Yes! YES!  _ YES! _ ” she shrieked, scooping Kiri up and dancing around the cart. “We did it, Kiri! We did it!”

“I’m so proud.” Nott said in a choked voice. “My boy did it. He really did it.”

“YEAH, CALEB!!” Jester shouted. Molly and Caleb turned towards her, and Molly flipped her off before they returned to kissing. 

“YEAH, CALEB!!” Kiri replied, climbing up onto Jester’s shoulders. They stood on the cart, watching the fruits of their labors with pride. 

“Who should we go after next?” Jester asked. She scanned the field and spotted Beau ogling Yasha, who was sitting peacefully weaving a flower crown. A grin spread across her face, and she set Kiri down on the cart. “I have just the people.” 

“Just the people.” Kiri echoed, a similar smile appearing on her face.


End file.
